Boys to Men: Unlearning What We’re Taught

We’re taught to hold it in or not feel at all. We’re taught that emotions make us weak. It’s time to unlearn that.

Photo by Alekzan Powell on Unsplash

“Want me to give you a reason to cry?”

That was my uncle, and those are the words that reverberate in my mind. I was six years old, frozen, naked, and afraid. Except my experience didn’t involve white people, camera crews, or the survival skills that you’re taught in the Boy Scouts. I was getting ready to shower when he started banging on the door.

“Jay, open this door! We need to talk!” The impact of the pounding made me flinch, and the door continued to shake in the frame long after he put his fist down.

“Hold on. I’m getting ready to shower,” I stammered. That was a mistake. I already pissed off him and now I was ignoring him.

“I don’t care! Open this door!” he demanded.

I wish I could remember why he was so angry, but I don’t. All I remember is feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable.

I opened the door and immediately covered up. Over the years, my uncle became less of an ominous figure. He stands at just over six feet tall and is rather lanky. Balding since he was in his twenties, he always sports a clean-shaven head and face. But…