I Didn’t Know About Mental Load

My privilege is showing

Photo by Tobe Mokolo on Unsplash

I’m not a planner, at least I don’t like to be. For most of my life, the plan has been in my mind, loose, and with opportunities for freestyling. I’m the kind of person that likes to leave the house with nothing but my phone, keys, and wallet. Anything else is simply too much to attach to my body; even a watch is an unnecessary weight when I have a handheld device that could serve the same purpose. My wife is the opposite. She plans, anticipates needs, and is highly prepared even for the most unlikely of events. Our camping trips have always been fun (and cramped) because she thinks of everything from mace to evade bears to hidden snacks to pacify me when I inevitably run out of food because I figured that there would “be something on the way.” I can say, unequivocally, that there is rarely anything on the way and if there is, it’s ridiculously expensive. I’ve just been willing to buy the eight-dollar bottle of water because carrying anything feels oppressive. I also abhor the idea of her taking anything extra because I don’t want to help carry a bag. Granted, her bags are more than likely filled with things for me. I’m a mess, but I’m not alone (I think).

I’ve always chalked up my wife’s seemingly over-preparedness to her personality. She’s really attuned to fine details, while I tend to focus more on big-picture items. For…